As an after-effect of the photo shoot, consciously and unconsciously, I start to look at myself in the mirror to find “good camera poses”. The interesting thing is that I would sincerely cheer when I see a nice muscle flex. It really surprises me, considering how afraid I was of muscles. I was resentful towards them.

Looking back, I never liked the muscles on my body at all. Which means, as an athlete since very young age, I was never happy about my form. The whole Chinese society was like that (and probably still is). Girls want to lose weight. They have to. The pressure is everywhere. You put on 3 pounds during the holiday season, someone is going to “nicely” point that out to you. “Time to lose some weight, girl”. You look at celebrity pictures or watch TV, the number one standard of judging the actress is whether or not she looks fat. The second standard is whether she has a small face. For reference, for a girl that is 5’3″, the ideal weight is about 110-115lb. Average size for adult Chinese woman is U.S. size 0 ~ 2.

To lose weight, girls will try to work out, but then almost immediately, start to worry about bulking up. Remember, smaller is better. Jumping and doing steps will enlarge the calves. Squat is a big no-no. No one wants their thighs to be any bigger. Forget about any arm work out since a bigger arm will be the first thing people notice. Push-ups? Very rare you can find a girl that can even do a single push up. So maybe the only option left is sit ups… Only a few will stick with the running/jogging only method. Most will go back to the diet only method, or diet pills, or some stupid “sit-there-do-nothing-and-lose-weight magic”. No one really appreciates any sort of muscle on girls. I don’t mean like a professional fitness model kind of muscle but any muscle! If a girl has more muscle, she is not “feminine” any more. You can open a woman’s magazine which features health and fitness and still find a skinny girl with zero muscle tone posing for “working out”.

The desire to look soft and slender to an extent that is almost fatigue rooted so deep in my mind. It is amazing that after all these years living in another country, I actually start to enjoy seeing new muscles popping out.

So why? First, at this point, I have seen enough girls that look wonderfully sexy with muscular legs or arms or abs. I am no longer frightened. In fact, my fitness coach is one good example. She has more muscles than average American girls but she is still so feminine and hot that I am just blown away. Every time I hear a Chinese man saying “you know, I used to only like slim girls. But after being here for a couple years, I changed my mind. Girls have some meat on them look good”, I cannot help but having a big smile on my face.

Second… Ha, this one is simpler. As a woman passes her golden 20-25 year mark, she doesn’t have the luxury to look smooth and soft and slender without toning up. Stop dreaming. Long and lean muscles are definitely welcomed.

Isn’t it amazing how our mindset changes?